Will You Walk With Me?
"Be sure of this - that I am with you always, even to the end of the world." Jesus says this in the 28th chapter of the Gospel of Matthew when He tells the disciples that He will be with them as they go out into the world and face the many challenges that will occur as they travel on their journey.
Was this a story just for a select group of people at a particular time and place or does it apply to us today?
Have you ever taken one step forward and then taken two steps back? Or maybe 3 or 4 steps back?
Have you ever struggled to pick yourself up when you are in the depths of depression or anxiety?
Have you ever asked yourself, does anyone really care about me?
I'm sure we have all felt that way at one time or another and when we are in those spaces, we can feel isolated, cut off from family, friends, from everyone.
When we feel isolated, we start to wonder if we can ever really overcome the pain and isolation. We wonder if God is really there for me.
Join us, on Will You Walk With Me?, where we will explore ways to strengthen our faith through caring for our mental and physical health. We will do this in community, learning from those who join our episodes to share their stories, and through exploring ways to increase creativity and positive self esteem, while in the process studying sacred scriptural texts that can support your journey.
So I ask you, Will You Walk With Me?
Will You Walk With Me?
Healing the Inner Child: Transforming Trauma into Self-Compassion and Faith
What if a single moment from your childhood could shape your entire perspective on safety and self-care? Join us on "Will You Walk With Me" as we unravel the intricate journey of inner child healing through the lens of yoga and faith. We kick off with a grounding moment of self-appreciation before delving into two profound stories from my life. First, I share how a seemingly simple love for cleanliness and order is rooted in a childhood incident that shattered my sense of security. Then, we explore my early enchantment with yoga as an escape from my mother's anxiety, and how it became a vital part of my self-care routine, guiding me through periods of intense personal growth and moments of vulnerability.
In this heartfelt episode, we also delve into the lasting impact of childhood trauma and the healing power of reparenting and faith. Discover how neglect from caregivers can lead to deep-seated feelings of unsafety and unlovedness, even in adulthood, and learn practical steps for healing, including visualization and self-compassion. With scriptural insights and a focus on nurturing your inner child, we emphasize the importance of fostering a sense of safety and love within yourself. Finally, I invite you to embrace the transformative power of God through Jesus and the Holy Spirit, offering encouragement to seek professional help if needed and a reminder that you are a precious child of God.
Hello and welcome back. This is episode six of Will you Walk With Me. Before we get started, let's take a check-in. How are you doing today? What is it that you bring to this time of listening and walking? Let's take a moment to center ourselves before we begin. Take a deep breath in and let it out On your next breath. Take a moment to appreciate yourself. You are a child of God, made in God's image and loved by God, just as you are. Take one more breath In and out. In and out.
Speaker 1:Today I'm going to share two short stories from my journey. The first one I'm a neatnik. I love a clean house. It helps me feel safe and gives me the peace to be creative and feel that restorative power of God. That's my ideal space. So if you come into my home, you will either find this oasis of clean or Oscar Madison's bedroom. For those of you who don't know, oscar Madison was a character on the 1970s show the Odd Couple. Oscar Madison was a character on the 1970s show the Odd Couple, the story of Oscar the Slob and Felix the Neatnik.
Speaker 1:You can tell what's going on in my life and the life of my husband and two adult children by the way the house looks. Why do I tell you all of this? Well, this appreciation for clean, a clean, organized space dates back to my childhood. My room was always clean. I loved to decorate it, expressing all my likes and my dreams. It was my safe space. Remember those words when I was either in the second or third grade? I came home from school one day and my mom had a friend over and this friend had two small boys who were either not in school or in a half-day kindergarten. The boys came with their mother to my house and my mom let them play in my room. Something inside me said this was not going to be good. And as I walked in the room, I was shocked because it was completely trashed. I screamed, I cried. Those two nasty creatures destroyed my safe space. Things were broken. My organized, calm, safe space was destroyed. Safe space was destroyed. My mom did her best to help clean up and she brought me new toys and things to replace what had been broken. And life went on. I remember making my mom promise to never let anyone in my room again. That had to be close to 50 years ago. I can't remember the names of the boys or their mom and I never remember them coming back to visit. And also, I didn't remember this story until about four months ago. Now, the second story Around.
Speaker 1:The same time, second or third grade, I came home from school and turned on the TV. I found a program called Lilius Yoga and you on a PBS channel. The yoga poses looked fascinating, but the best part was something called Savasana. Savasana comes at the end of a yoga practice and it provides time to completely relax. I liked this.
Speaker 1:Why would an eight or nine year old be interested in the concept of relaxing? Well, my mom in her earthly life suffered from great anxiety. I remember sometimes coming home and she would be crying or angry or withdrawn. I didn't know what to expect and it didn't happen all the time. Having this opportunity to practice relaxing helped me a lot to be able to distance myself from my mom's anxiety and my fear of not being able to help her. I became hooked on yoga as I grew up. I found in-person yoga classes, yoga videos and lots of other things to help with my practice. Yoga was my safe space to get in touch with my body and to have that precious time to relax.
Speaker 1:Life goes on and my husband and I were blessed with two children, and one of the things I noticed was that there was not so much time anymore for things like yoga or going to the gym. But that was okay. I always knew I would get back to my practice. But alongside being a mom, I also answered the call to ministry, which meant several years of study and preparation, ordination. Then, after ordination, receiving a call to pastor a church. I felt God calling again as I pursued a doctorate in ministry, which I earned in 2022. Doctorate in ministry, which I earned in 2022. I felt the tug later on of an intentional commitment to my yoga practice. It felt good to be back. I learned of an opportunity through an online yoga school to become a certified yoga teacher and I thought this would be a wonderful blessing to my ministry and my study of meditation and mindfulness, which I've spoken about in prior episodes. So I went all in.
Speaker 1:A few weeks into the course, I noticed that being absent from a dedicated practice for so many years was not a good thing. I felt like I was starting from nothing and practicing on a Zoom platform where people would be watching me be clumsy. I began to get self-conscious. Then, one Thursday night, we had what was called a power flow yoga class movements that go from one into another. It can be fast at times and it's definitely intense, and I just could not keep up. I laid on my mat and cried. I thought I had made a huge mistake. I was either too old or too out of shape to continue and I was ready to quit, really depressed. Well, god nudged me, and I thank God for it.
Speaker 1:I made an appointment with the teacher who taught that Power Flow class to talk about what happened. She is not only a gifted teacher but an awesome listener what I would call a true pastor. We were together for about an hour and a half and she took me through a meditation and reflection journey which would be way too long to share in total, but the bottom line was I learned that the fear I was experiencing on my yoga mat was one which deep, deep, deep in that place of my inner child was taking the safety and rest that I cherished so much, taking it away and challenging me to something greater that I thought I was failing. The point was that I didn't even realize my yoga mat was a place of safety and that feeling was instilled in me as a young child. A few days later, I remembered the loss of the safety of my room when the boys trashed it. My inner child was crying out to me. The adult woman Now in the bigger picture, my childhood room being trashed and me struggling on a yoga mat is not a big deal. Many people have to deal with much greater issues. What the big deal was, though, was that for decades, I didn't acknowledge the safety I felt in my room and on my mat. Not only did I not acknowledge it, but I put the memories way back in my mental closet. It took a trusted mentor and friend to help me bring the memories to light, and it was from that discussion that I took a new look at what God was calling me to as a yoga teacher, and in May I received my teaching certificate.
Speaker 1:What is an inner child? We all have an inner child inside of us. It's part of our subconscious that has been picking up and retaining memories and feelings from childhood, long before our minds could fully express and comprehend everything that was going on emotionally and mentally. These memories impact our thoughts and behaviors and emotions throughout our adult lives, and many times we don't even know what's happening. Your inner child is part of you that holds the wonderful as well as the scary and has strong emotions and triggers. Inner children are parts of our psyche that remain full of innocence, awe and wonder when our inner child is healthy. When our inner child is sad or scared, we can bury feelings of neglect, fear and abandonment, so we do not feel overwhelmed.
Speaker 1:Research suggests that many adults struggle with unresolved childhood issues which can impact their mental health and emotional well-being. But the concept of the inner child is quite new. It was first proposed by psychologist Carl Jung. Jung thought it was this inside part of all of us that influenced the decisions we make as adults, this inside part of all of us that influence the decisions we make as adults. Inner children hold those memories and emotions, good and bad, all the things that we experienced, and sometimes they want to help protect us, sometimes they want us to protect them, and most of the time we don't even know what's happening. Unfortunately, it is also these inner children who absorb all the negative and harmful words and actions of those who were supposed to keep us safe Once wounded. These inner children negatively influence who we are as adults, holding enormous power over relationships and decisions.
Speaker 1:Childhood trauma, where child's needs are not met, destroys a child's sense of safety there's that word again, safety causing them to sometimes be hypervigilant, sometimes scared, and in adulthood these inner children never go away, and neither do their feelings of being unsafe and unloved and thinking that the world is a horrible and dangerous place. There are three types of trauma that children endure at the hands of caregivers, three major ones that cause inner adult injury. They include physical, emotional and psychological neglect. Physical safety and nourishment are basic human needs that are given freely from caregivers to children. However, in physical neglect, these rights are violated or lacking. Unfortunately, physical neglect does not mean only that the child was kept from food or shelter. It can also mean several forms of abuse are taking place, such as sexual abuse. Emotional neglect this is where a child's caregiver did not show enough interest in the child's emotional needs for support, respect and love. In these cases, either the caregiver does not pay attention to or condemns any emotional expressions that the child might need. Psychological neglect this is the kind of neglect that occurs when a child's caregivers fail to listen, to nurture and to embrace the beautiful beings that God created them to be Now.
Speaker 1:Scripture does not directly address the pain of inner child. Remember the term gained recognition through the work of Carl Jung, who was born in 1875. But this does not mean that we can't turn to scripture for support and guidance as we seek to address the needs of our inner self and begin the healing process. Scripture acknowledges the very importance of the journey and wants us to know that our part in the healing process is very important, are participating in the process with the knowledge that god will walk with us when we reach out to God. Malachi shows what we will experience, malachi 4.2. But for you, sunrise, the sun of righteousness, will dawn on those who honor my name, healing, radiating power from its wings. You will be bursting with energy, like colts, frisky and frolicking. Bursting with energy like colts, frisky and frolicking.
Speaker 1:In Paul's second letter to the church at Corinth, he encourages us when it looks like the journey is too tough. 2 Corinthians 4, 16-18 says so. We're not giving up. How could we? Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making a new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. These things we now see here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see will last forever.
Speaker 1:And finally, another scripture for encouragement, again from Paul, written to the Ephesians, chapter 3, verses 16 through 19. The Ephesians, chapter 3, verses 16 through 19. My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit, not a brute strength, but a glorious inner strength that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him, with both feet planted firmly on love, that you'll be able to take it all in the followers of Jesus, in the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience it all, test its length, experience it all, test its length, rise to the heights, live full lives, full in the fullness of God. So scripture calls us to have the courage to take this on, to reach out and embrace our inner child, to find out what we can learn from our child and how we can help our child know that it is loved.
Speaker 1:A first possible step in working at healing your inner child is to acknowledge that he or she is actually wounded, the harm done to your inner child is directly correlated with the ways that you feel unsafe in the world, some signals that you might have a wounded inner child, a deep feeling that there's something wrong with you, experiencing anxiety, feeling ashamed of expressing emotions, fear of abandonment. Our inner children directly influence what we do. Adults can be controlled by their unconscious child and when wounded, these little ones, full of anger and shame and rage, become even more closed off to the world. So this work of attempting healing or reparenting as it is sometimes known, as can provide excellent opportunities for healing. Healing, improved self-esteem, having a more positive relationship with yourself and therefore with the world. Healing relationships that you may not understand why there are troubles in a relationship, but these patterns with different people and the same things happening form this scary place of not being able to connect to the world outside yourself. The reduction of anxiety and depression, the healing of childhood trauma can lead to that peace that passes all understanding and an increased self-awareness and greater resilience to meet the challenges that daily life presents to us. And having that feeling, that wonderful feeling of yes, I can. Yes, I had the courage to, yes, I am on the journey.
Speaker 1:So we need to start by taking some time to reflect on childhood experiences, good or bad, some questions you might want to consider. What were major events in your life, good or bad? What kind of relationship did you have with parents or guardians, other family members? How did you handle difficult situations? Acknowledge your inner child and the safety it needs to grow to begin healing. Another thing that you could do and this might sound a little weird, but is to ask your inner child if you can give it a big hug.
Speaker 1:Most times the pain and anxiety that inner children express is that they did not have that physical touch, they did not know they were loved, and most of us carry that emotional pain into our childhood. Most of us carry that emotional pain into our childhood. So here is a very short meditation to help, if your inner child allows you to give them that hug, find a quiet and comfortable place where you can relax and feel safe. Close your eyes and take some deep breaths. Visualize yourself as a child, with all the innocence and joy of that age. Imagine your inner child standing before you, looking at you and wanting to trust you, the adult. Visualize yourself opening up your arms and wrapping them around your child in a warm and loving embrace. Tell your inner child that they have nothing to fear, that they are loved, that they are safe and that you and God will walk with them. Hold that for as long as you can Take a few more deep breaths and know that God is with you.
Speaker 1:Inner child healing deals a lot with comforting, soothing and reparenting your hurt inner child. The idea is that you give to him or her what they need to help get unstuck so the two of you can move forward. And as you go through this process, remember God will walk with you. In Matthew 6.33, he simply tells us to seek him first. He will give all the rest. First he will give all the rest.
Speaker 1:The inner child of our past may need to hear some things repeatedly. They may need to know that family problems were never their fault and that they were not to blame for the abuse and that they are valuable. They are creations of God, even if their parents never told them so. So what can you do if you feel that you hardly know your inner child, this little one who has big needs even to this day? Take the time to get to know this child, when you already asked Jesus to come and touch the inner child of your past. He will touch your walls, the walls of fear, shame and anger. He will help you bring those walls down. He will be glad to go back and comfort your little one in a way that no human can do, because Jesus is the healer and he will satisfy.
Speaker 1:Remember in John 17 that Jesus prayed that we would be one, as he and the Father are one. One as he and the father are one. His desire is to restore us to wholeness, to fill those empty places, because he experienced every hurt and he understands. Father, I want those you gave me to be with me, right where I am, so they can see my glory, the splendor you gave me, having loved me long before there ever was a world righteous. Father. The world has never known you, but I have known you. These disciples know you. They know that you sent me on this mission. They know that you sent me on this mission. I have made your very being known to them, who you are and what you do. Continue to make it known so that your love for me might be theirs as well, exactly as I am in you and I am in them. This is a work in process and my prayers go with you as you begin to even think about this. Invest in yourself, you are worth it.
Speaker 1:And, as we come to a close, I'm excited to share with you that we will continue this discussion, this journey with the inner child, next month, as I welcome Courtney Smith-Taylor, a licensed social worker and therapist, to join me in a discussion about how therapy is extremely helpful in healing inner child trauma, in healing inner child trauma.
Speaker 1:So, until then, I am inviting you to be on this journey with me, a journey to know the healing and life-giving restoring power of God through Jesus, his son and the Holy Spirit. I hope that you will join me and Courtney in our next episode and I want to be sure that if you are in need of professional help which I treasure in my own journey and you don't know who to talk to, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, accessible by calling 1-800-273-SUICIDE-AND-CRISIS-LIFELINE code that is designated to be memorable and a quick number that connects people who are in any mental health crisis to a trained professional. If you would like to reach out to us, please send us a note at podcast at willyouwalkwithmecom, and, as always, I thank my producers, andrew and Catherine, and all of you for listening. I pray that each of you see the hand of Jesus extended and that each of you know that you are a precious child of God. Grab onto Jesus. He is the blessed partner for the journey forward. See you next time.